This week has been one of the roughest weeks my mind can remember. It has been a week in which I wake up every morning hoping I have had a terribly long dream. Everyone has had those dream where you dreamed your pregnant, or you just were diagnosed with AIDS and right when reality is about to settle in its place, the alarm clock rings and the dream is swept away along with the prior nights fears. However, today in this moment, I find myself very much in reality. With every morning and every alarm clock sound it gets more and more real. With the increasing reality the more challenging the days become.

Right now, the Chaplin for Hospice is visiting with our family. Just the word alone Chaplin conjures up rusty, old and out of date themes in my mind. The Chaplin is just that from the outside. He is a gentle man in his late 60's. He asked to talk to me and I prepared myself for a conversation about death, Jesus, faith and a random verse from Romans. We sat down and he opened up with Romans 8, I braced for what I knew was coming next. However, to my surprise Romans 8 was all he had for me as for the cheesy conservative euphemisms. He did tell me that I need to find where God is working and "get on board." He said things like, "Be on the cutting edge of God." When he said, "Cutting edge" I smiled, just a gentle respect smile. Then this old man said something so profound. "I preach and preach but its seems not to work, the Church is not following God, I don't know the answer but I believe its somewhere on the cutting edge. Then my mind began to explode with ideas! This old man, a follower of God, senses the change on the horizon. Now that I am writing this it doesn't seem to mind blowing, but to me it was. I guess because it came from an unexpected source at a unexpected time.