Today is Ash Wednesday. It is a day in the Church where we are to look inward into our souls and see just what we are made of and what our life represents. Ash is applied to one's head to remind us that we are but a blink and our Hoilness isn't enough to covver our sin. Also, Ash Wednesday signals the start of the lenten season. Briefly, lent is a time where one tries to identify with the last days of Christ, through suffering by going without certian things. This season, I want to DO somethings I haven't done in the past. For the next 40 days I am going to try and write a blog each day, attend church every week and finish a book I started last lent (tongue in check).
Day 1 of lent.
My life has been difficult. I am positive that I am not alone in this proclamation. Surely you can relate with me. Surely you have tasted guilt? Surely you have tasted disappointment in yourself, others or God, or even maybe all three? Surely you heart has been heavy, wether it been know or not know you have seen reality of Sin playing out in the world around you, havent you?
When Dad died, it seemed so surreal. I just kept looking at him thinking, "Oh my God, he isn't here, he isn't here." No more talks, no more hugs, no more 'hey dummies' no more Dad. Still it seems that he will be home when I take my lunch my break.
As I am struggling with the finality of death, I have so many thoughts about life and death in life. The line between life and death is thin. One mintue Dad was breathing, the next our home was full of weeping and heartache and Dad was gone.
Today, Ash Wednesday, we are called to realize that we are but dust, full of sin and soon will return to earth as dust. This year, this idea is no longer just a idea but a picture of which my mind can recall. While we are dust and full of sin, we too are being renewed by the inner workings of the Spirit. Though our bodies are already preparing for our last breath, our spirit is being renewed and refreshed for our coming Glory. Yes, we are dust, but in our death we are being pulled into eternity. This is where we look forward to Easter morning. We look forward to the suffering that Christ went through, fully knowing what happens 40 days from now. For now, we remember to put ashes on our face and look deep into our souls and evaulate our life remembering we are dust. There will be a time for rejoicing, but don't go to Easter just yet. We have a lot of soul seaching to do. Will you search with me...
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3 comments:
I quit smoking, or at least I am trying to quit. Does that count? I look forward to reading your blog everyday..
Man you have perspectiveon lent that is unique and deep. I look forward to what comes form that!!
I went to an Ash Wednesday mass with my friend at work. The priest barely spoke english, he said things like, "how do you say..." before he could find the fitting word he needed. The service was full of catholic tradition and liturgy and I felt very out of place but it was a beautiful rememberance of what the lent season is about. And reading your blog is another great reminder of the opportunity we have to experience lent deep in our soul not simply in our flesh of giving something up or doing something extra. I am glad we can seperately - yet together - wrestle through this lent. Shalom buddy.
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